11 thoughts on “Fat is… not an insult, an obscenity, or a death sentence”
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Wow, that sounds horrifyingly awful. Even more than usual! (...)
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What’s hilarious — in a grim kind of way — is that a friend of mine, who is about the same size as the woman in this video, modelled underwear for several years for Mediterranean magazines and made enough money to pay for her schooling that way. She was not considered “fat” in the way North Americans use that word as a synonym for “unattractive, slovenly, stupid, lazy, and every other negative thing one can associate with a person. She was considered quite attractive, and conventionally so.
I will never take any culture seriously whose beauty standard is equal to “three missed meals away from death by starvation.”
I related to everything this woman said. I’ve recently come to some similar realizations about myself, and I’m appalled how much time I’ve wasted putting things off “until I lose weight”. Buying clothes that made me look “slimmer” instead of clothes that made me look “great” – it’s not the same at all. “Slimming” clothes make me look like a failed experiment, or like I’m apologizing. Flattering clothes make me look hot.
Can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. My mom’s entire family is moderately overweight, no matter how we eat or exercise. But I thought I’d find the secret, and I’ve wasted enough time hunting it to write three novels. My family is also free of heart disease, diabetes, and that dying when you’re only 76 thing that normal people do. We live to be 90+, extra pounds and all, spry and active to the end. And I’ve been cursing these genes.
Sorry for such an outpour. Hope it triggers something positive for someone else.
I was absolutely floored by all of the weight loss bloggers who had lost weight – only to see them ALL have to restart their blogs in under 2 years because they had gained all the weight back and then some extra. I am talking 50+ women (and 5 men).
I think there needs to be a community blog started about size in general (or a post on Iris? Although this doesn’t relate to games). About how much size and weight matters (in America, anyway). About how our mothers preached about dieting and losing weight. About how difficult it is to find clothes, especially when you’re “husky, curvy, or FAT”. God forbid anyone be anything but a size 0-6 ad 5’10”, right? And if you ARE within the ideal size and height range, you’re a slut. The Girls-Gone-Wild kind of slut.
Women just cannot win in America. Probably the rest of the world, too.
S. Labyrinth, if you’re really interested in an online community built around fat acceptance, I’d also recommend Big Fat Blog.
Finding clothes when you’re a size 28 is a freakin’ nightmare! I’ve been thinking about printing out some of those cards I think I saw at dressaday.com that say “You’d be looking at a credit card instead of this if you had anything in my size.” The biggest pain in the neck is when designers decide that only one style of dress is in this year, so if you don’t fit into wrap dresses or “kimono” dresses you have to wait until they get distracted by waistlines or bustlines that work for you. I’ve wasted far too much time trying to play their games, time I could have spent on something important. If only people would let me attend their weddings in my jeans.
Ooh, here we go: Found those cards.
OMG that was awesome!
S. Labyrinth, are you thinking of a forum or a blog? (Forums are usually more comfortable for people to post on.) We’re currently expanding Hathor to include some new blogs. I’d be willing to set up a “fat” forum, because this is something that’s dominated my whole life, too.
Anyone else interested? You can email me at meronoid[at]gmail[dot]com if you are.
That was fabulous! I was never really small until I had food poisoning for several weeks. The damage done to my system took three years to heal. I thought often of Steven King’s “Thinner”. The weight slipped away and I wondered if it would ever stop. I had to water down seven up and there were days I just couldn’t eat at all. One of the things that upset me most was all the people who were telling me I looked great, what was I doing, et cetera. It was really scary. I would much rather be my bigger self with strength, vitality, and health than be thin and sick. I have no use for the fashion industry. I am learning to sew and plan on finding or modifying designs to work with my shape. When I can’t find anything that fits me I remember that wearing off-the-rack is not traditionally the mark of distinction.
I have always been a firm believer that a person should attain a weight that is natural to their body type. Women and society need to learn to understand this. In many cultures, being thin is considered unattractive as the way a woman’s body works requires them to be softer and carry more fat than a man.
Still, I must warn all of you… do not turn your frustration into hate. Like some people are built to be larger, some merely have genes that make them thinner. Many people cannot help that they are small despite their eating habits. Do you really want to see the day where skinny girls are sobbing in their rooms force feeding themselves calories to get the ‘proper’ round figure? That’s a heart attack waiting to happen, for sure.
My boyfriend is a very large man, and I love him for who he is. He’s healthy for his size, and the only reason I want him to ever lose weight is so his ankles will not give him the trouble they’ve been doing recently. It goes the other way around too. I’m skinny and he loves me for it. I gained weight, and he was thrilled as it filled me out and gave me a better, more womanly figure… but then again I didn’t force it.
Enough of that though. I loved the video. It’s very well done, fun, and very engaging. =)
Nako said:
Don’t assume that all fat activists are fat. I myself am thin and have talked about my thin privilege in the past. I would also highly encourage you to read “Check my what?”, which is a primer on privilege. It talks about, among other things, why it’s not a good idea to bring up “what about [insert privileged groups] here” arguments when the subject at hand is the discrimination faced by a non-privileged group.