A quiet battle has been raging. So quiet, in fact, that none knew it was raging save me and… uh… me. Ever since I was introduced to the truth laid bear, I have realized that I, tekanji, Queen of The Official Shrub.com Blog was not the sovereign of the Shrub Kingdom. All it took was one ecosystem search for the word “shrub” and I found that I have not one, but two rivals: The Useless Shrubb and The Shrubbloggers.
Clocking in at around #20360 in the ecosphere, I surpassed The Useless Shrub with ease. It was The Shrubbloggers, however, who ceaselessly taunted me with their rankings in the upper 8000 and lower 9000. I had to beat them, but I was lagging behind in the 11000-14000. A few times, I came so close to taking my rightful kingdom from the usurpers. Victory was in my grasp, I could taste it. And then… nothing. I retreated, the stink of faliure following me in my wake. I vowed then that I would have my revenge.
Today, my subjects, today that vow has come to fruition. Today the mighty Kings have fallen. Today, the Shrub Kingdom is ruled by its magnanimous Queen, as well it should be. But, I should not get too cocky. I must be remain viligant. The Shrubblogging Kings are ever at my heels, waiting for their chance to re-take their precious domination of the Shrub Kingdom. I swear to you, dear serfs, that I will guard this position as well I may and serve you as a ruler should for as long as I may keep this position.
…
I’m sorry, do I know you?
DO NOT MOCK THE SUPREME RULER OF THE SHRUB KINGDOM!
<gets out hedge clippers> DON’T MAKE ME USE THESE!
Noooooooooo, anything but the HEDGE CLIPPERS!!!!!!!!!! ;.;
<viciously excises the “faliure” typo>