I’ve given up trying to assess my own privilege or lack thereof. I’m trying to learn more about what other people go through. I mean, in some ways my background helps me connect with people who aren’t white and middle class, but I don’t for a second delude myself that I’m in a position to say what other disenfranchised groups are experiencing. Maybe the more I learn about others, the better perspective I’ll have on my privilege.

Hmm, maybe that’s it. Maybe the trick is to stop focusing on your own privilege or lack thereof - get your mind off yourself and onto the whole world. Get the big picture. Then see where you fit.

What about a transwoman who looks too feminine to go into the man’s washroom without fear of having violence done to her, but looks too masculine to go into the women’s washroom without fear of having security called on her?

That would be me, exactly. It’s to the point that I rarely travel outside of the city (Philadelphia, Pa) because it’s not safe for me to use most public bathrooms.

On the other hand, my white middle class mouth has uttered “$50 bucks a month is not a lot of money for Spironolactone [a commonly-used anti-androgen that many transwomen take along with estrogen] at a trans drop-in, while I was sitting right next to a transwoman of color who was below the poverty line and had no health insurance. As soon as I saw her look of disgust and heard her (way too polite than it had to be) response to me, I realized what an ass I was.

One issue I think about in regards to being a transwoman, is the fact that I transitioned late (age 45) and lived as male up until that point - gay, to be sure, but male nonetheless. I can’t speak for other transwomen, but I worry that I am still blinded by male privilege that I picked up before transitioning. I don’t believe that one day I woke up and that privilege-induced blindness just disappeared. And being gay doesn’t inure a man from male privilege - I’ve had too many gay men call me a bitch when I call them out on a sexist or transphobic remark to believe that gay men don’t have male privilege.

So, at a certain level, I can understand why some cisgendered women are uncomfortable with transwomen - not that I give them a pass to do so, but I understand the fear. On the other hand, I experience sexual / transphobic street harrassement several times a week. It’s a wierd position to be in, and probably one that those who transition very young (while still children) don’t experience so much.

BTW, here’s an online resource for finding bathrooms that are safe, or at least safer, for trans / genderqueer people - Safe To Pee. It lists both gender-neutral bathrooms and single-stall gendered bathrooms with locking doors (these are safer than most multistall bathrooms).

I came upon your site only a few days ago, and already thoroughly enjoy it, including the challenging parts. And I thank you for taking a strong stand against transphobia and cisgenderism.

the issue of privilege has come up recently at my blog with a number of guys who just refuse to acknowledge male privilege, and who refuse to acknowledge that patriarchy is a pervasive and ubiquitous force in society. It’s frustrating, being ganged up on by a bunch of commenters who all insist that I’m playing victim politics and spending all my time whining about oppression that doesn’t really exist in the way I think it does, yet who refuse to examine the way they benefit from what I’m talking about. Dismissive indeed. And it’s hard to know how to respond sometimes when someone tries to negate your experiences by some relativist argument. What it comes down to is that privilege blinds people, but they see that as me saying it’s because they’re men that they can’t understand my point. exasperating, I tell ya! I feel like closing down comments on that thread altogether, but I’m sure it would just transfer itself onto another one.

Anyway, sorry for the “whining”, but it seemed in line with what your post was all about! Keep up the great blogging!

In conjunction with this article, however, I can see now that what I saw then was possibly an establishment being completely inclusive.