Comments on: Some tips for white feminists

By: delux

delux — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 07:19:03 +0000

rent-a-negro.com sells greeting cards that say:

“Sometimes, black people don’t want to answer questions about race. Sometimes I need my white brothers and sisters to help me sort things out. Can You Help Me Understand?”

which pretty much sums up #4.

http://www.cafepress.com/r_a_n.10414787

By: Artemis

Artemis — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 21:49:46 +0000

Thanks for this link - its a fantastic post and something that I think everyone needs reminding of on a consistent basis - to do self-analysis of our own privileges and so how do we contribute to the patriarchy on different levels? I am a middle-class, educated, white woman who has a good home. How do I benefit from these? Something I struggle with as much as I can - but do forget my own privilege at times and an article like this is a great way to stir up new self-analyses.

By: Katie

Katie — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 16:41:24 +0000

I guess it really comes down to asking rather than expecting. And yes, that can sometimes be a tricky distinction, because it often comes down to tone and phrasing…

This discussion went on over at Sly Civilian’s blog when I got in trouble this way! Here you go…click here and read up and get some more suggestions about how to be an asker, not an expecter.

By: arielladrake

arielladrake — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 07:01:01 +0000

Elayne, I guess it really comes down to asking rather than expecting. And yes, that can sometimes be a tricky distinction, because it often comes down to tone and phrasing, but for meit comes down to being respectful when you ask for clarification, and not getting indignant when the person you’re asking goes “y’know, I really don’t feel like fielding this question today.” (not making a comment on your behaviour since I don’t know you well enough to do so, but it is something that happens) Also, I think that’s what some people tend to have a problem understanding. We’re often expected to assume whites are well-intentioned when they say something that’s insensitive and more than a bit dumb, and when we call out the result rather than assume good intention makes it all okay, and get frustrated because it’s the fourth time this week we’ve had to deal with whatever it is, we’re suddenly all horrible.

By: Elayne Riggs

Elayne Riggs — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 19:56:43 +0000

Well see, that’s kind of a double-edged sword too, isn’t it? If I deem myself ignorant about something with which I have no first-hand experience, my first instinct is always to ask someone who has had that experience. It’s fundamental communication, it’s how we learn about each other. Yes, you don’t exist to be anyone’s repository, but I hope I would be able to ask for clarification about something you raise on your blog that I don’t quite get, same as I would expect you to do the same on my blog. For instance, Kai Chang did a post a couple months back about Chinese music and stereotypes, and I wasn’t sure what he meant by non-stereotypical (non-racist) Chinese music so I asked him provide examples, which he did and which I was happy to discover matched my suppositions about what he meant.