I want one month in the feminist blogsphere in which none of us attack each other because someone engages in an activity that we personally don’t like. I want one month in which feminists who have differing views on porn, BDSM, and other sexual practices can come together and have a civil conversation that examines the patriarchy’s role in all this instead of flinging shit at each other. I want one month in which we don’t privilege one set of oppression over another, but rather realize that the dynamics of oppression creates a complex and interconnecting web that needs to be tackled both as a whole as well as one thread at a time. I want one month in which the need to be the sole arbiter of Truth is less important than creating a community in which we listen to each other and realize that every person takes a different path to happiness. I want one month for us to celebrate our differences instead of using them to divide us.
For one month. Just one. Fucking. Month. I want us to blame the patriarchy instead of blaming women.
Why isn’t that possible?
June 17th, 2006 at 10:57 am
Patriarchy blames women. We’re not going to dismantle it by doing the same.
June 17th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
hear hear
June 17th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Of course, I posted this over at Feministe on the Twisty thread and became evil_fizz’s hero, only to be ignored by everyone else who apparently aren’t done throwing shit at each other.
June 17th, 2006 at 7:48 pm
I’m in. I’m here to play nice. Let’s rock ‘n’ roll!
June 19th, 2006 at 5:20 am
We’re currently writing some new comment rules because we don’t want any of the kind of shit you describe happening over at Mind the Gap.
June 19th, 2006 at 5:25 am
Good luck! If any of the stuff in my discussion rules looks useful, feel free to steal it
June 19th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Agreed. I’m glad I came here first before going to Twisty’s or Feministe - it gave me fair warning to stay away from those particular posts, or at least the comment sections.
I don’t suppose you’ve found any discussions, besides Jill’s and Amanda’s, that really engage the issue in a non-divisive way? Because I agree that the point raised by Twisty is valid - that even feminist women’s sexual choices are worth examining and criticizing - and would love to have a conversation about it.
Or, perhaps, you would be willing to make a post on the issue? I would like to see what you (and your commenters) have to say.
June 19th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Dora: belledame222 has a post on it, but she’s quoting a commenter and focuses a bit more on the impact of the post rather than the subject of blowjobs in a patriarichal world.
I might, but I don’t want to go over to any of those threads (they seriously make me want to cry). It also touches on a very personal issue, because if I talk about blowjobs I have to talk about my first experiences with them. And that means talking about my abuser. Which is not to say that I’m against doing it, but rather that I need to feel up to it because it dredges up some really painful memories. Blowjobs especially, actually, dredge up bad memories.
June 21st, 2006 at 11:38 am
Thanks for the link. I hadn’t considered the angle of Twisty et. al. misusing their authority in the feminist blogosphere - probably because I haven’t been following her for very long and don’t have the sense of her “power” - but this was illuminating.
As for making your own thread, of course that is totally your prerogative and your reasons for hesitation make perfect sense.
June 22nd, 2006 at 1:15 am
I’m working on it. Slowly. I actually had an interesting conversation with a male friend last night that I want to talk about too.