Just One Month…

I want one month in the feminist blogsphere in which none of us attack each other because someone engages in an activity that we personally don’t like. I want one month in which feminists who have differing views on porn, BDSM, and other sexual practices can come together and have a civil conversation that examines the patriarchy’s role in all this instead of flinging shit at each other. I want one month in which we don’t privilege one set of oppression over another, but rather realize that the dynamics of oppression creates a complex and interconnecting web that needs to be tackled both as a whole as well as one thread at a time. I want one month in which the need to be the sole arbiter of Truth is less important than creating a community in which we listen to each other and realize that every person takes a different path to happiness. I want one month for us to celebrate our differences instead of using them to divide us.

For one month. Just one. Fucking. Month. I want us to blame the patriarchy instead of blaming women.

Why isn’t that possible?

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This entry was posted in Eradicating Divisive Discourse, Feminism, The Internet is Serious Business. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Just One Month…

  1. Lake Desire says:

    Patriarchy blames women. We’re not going to dismantle it by doing the same.

  2. tekanji says:

    Of course, I posted this over at Feministe on the Twisty thread and became evil_fizz’s hero, only to be ignored by everyone else who apparently aren’t done throwing shit at each other.

  3. Killer B says:

    I’m in. I’m here to play nice. Let’s rock ‘n’ roll!

  4. Winter says:

    We’re currently writing some new comment rules because we don’t want any of the kind of shit you describe happening over at Mind the Gap.

  5. tekanji says:

    We’re currently writing some new comment rules because we don’t want any of the kind of shit you describe happening over at Mind the Gap.

    Good luck! If any of the stuff in my discussion rules looks useful, feel free to steal it :)

  6. Dora says:

    Agreed. I’m glad I came here first before going to Twisty’s or Feministe – it gave me fair warning to stay away from those particular posts, or at least the comment sections.

    I don’t suppose you’ve found any discussions, besides Jill’s and Amanda’s, that really engage the issue in a non-divisive way? Because I agree that the point raised by Twisty is valid – that even feminist women’s sexual choices are worth examining and criticizing – and would love to have a conversation about it.

    Or, perhaps, you would be willing to make a post on the issue? I would like to see what you (and your commenters) have to say.

  7. tekanji says:

    Dora: belledame222 has a post on it, but she’s quoting a commenter and focuses a bit more on the impact of the post rather than the subject of blowjobs in a patriarichal world.

    Or, perhaps, you would be willing to make a post on the issue? I would like to see what you (and your commenters) have to say.

    I might, but I don’t want to go over to any of those threads (they seriously make me want to cry). It also touches on a very personal issue, because if I talk about blowjobs I have to talk about my first experiences with them. And that means talking about my abuser. Which is not to say that I’m against doing it, but rather that I need to feel up to it because it dredges up some really painful memories. Blowjobs especially, actually, dredge up bad memories.

  8. Dora says:

    Thanks for the link. I hadn’t considered the angle of Twisty et. al. misusing their authority in the feminist blogosphere – probably because I haven’t been following her for very long and don’t have the sense of her “power” – but this was illuminating.

    As for making your own thread, of course that is totally your prerogative and your reasons for hesitation make perfect sense.

  9. tekanji says:

    As for making your own thread, of course that is totally your prerogative and your reasons for hesitation make perfect sense.

    I’m working on it. Slowly. I actually had an interesting conversation with a male friend last night that I want to talk about too.

Comments are closed.