My parents are careful to praise me for speaking up, too, and have been my whole life, which I am endlessly grateful for. Even in fights with them, after we cool off and make up, often one of them will mention that they are proud of me for taking a stand and arguing what I think is right, even if they disagree or don’t enjoy it (or if I do it maybe not-so-considerately). My dad is very assertive (…um, sometimes aggressive) like me, but my mom was very much trained as a child to default to polite and quiet, and act “nice” even if the other person’s behavior was rude or abusive. Luckily, she has used her experience with that crappy upbringing as a prompt to ensure that her daughters never feel obligated to endure in silence, or shut up in the face of opposition. She’s my biggest supporter in the “tell ‘em off!” situations.

And since i’m in a quote kinda mood…vintage Faludi: “Because, whatever new obstacles are mounted against the future march toward equality, whatever new myths invented, penalties levied, opportunities rescinded, or degradations imposed, no one can ever take from the American woman the justness of her cause.“