I still think that fewer people would excuse the oil throwing if the rude customer had been an adult nephew, but I can also see people still being more likely to excuse such a scenario than if the companion had been an adult male.

It is certainly more acceptable to see women’s bodies as something to be used more than men’s, but hurting someone’s family is also seen as one of the dirtiest things you can do – something reserved for gangs and the mafia. So, I guess it’s not so much that I think people would think that it’s cowardly, but that it would be seen as escalating the violence by an even greater factor than just changing from words and gestures to physical harm. This dynamic doesn’t occur when both the rude customer and the victim are female because they are not seen as belonging to each other the way female family members belong to adult male family members.

I don’t think if the rude customer was male that people would suddenly argue that if anyone deserved it, the nephew did, but I do think that simply having a man in the equation gives the customer/victim duo greater authority and makes it less likley that people will argue that they deserved it.

Personally, I think the dynamics would also be quite a bit different if it had been a teenage/adult nephew rather than a niece. In that case attacking the aunt would have seemed cowardly.

Hmm, I’m not sure if that’s the case. I think even — perhaps especially — in the cases of males, it is seen as completely acceptable to target a female family member as retribution. The rape case I link above is one example. I can also remember another one where a woman posted on the feminist LJ about how, to get back at her boyfriend, some frat guys sent harassing e-mails to her.

But, yeah, as to TrueTallus’ assertion that the aunt’s gender wasn’t a factor in the speculation, I agree with you completely, Mickle. You nailed my intent perfectly

The point is not that people wouldn’t have wondered, but that they would have been more likely to conclude that he did not deserve to be hurt for something someone else did.

The people saying that she must have done something to instigate it are doing more than simply “wondering” about the aunt’s actions. They are trying to excuse the attacker. I can definitely see people wondering – and even making excuses – if the attacker threw hot oil on a male person who was being rude. I don’t think the reaction would have been the same if it was a male companion – such as an uncle – of the person being rude who was deliberately injured, however. Which was really what Andrea was talking about.

Women’s bodies are often seen as something to be used by others – mens bodies rarely are. This is why gay men creep more people out than gay women. Since society usually describes sex up as something that one person does to another, many people automatically see men having sex as a direct assault on the idea that men’s bodies shouldn’t be for other’s use the way women’s bodies are.

Personally, I think the dynamics would also be quite a bit different if it had been a teenage/adult nephew rather than a niece. In that case attacking the aunt would have seemed cowardly. Especially if the attacker had been male as well – but, in that case, it also would have more likely have been shrugged off (by the public, not the police). Boys will be boys, after all.

That is just insane.

It makes me wonder about people’s reactions to things like the infamous McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit and how it’s usually the one people pull out when they bring up “frivilous” lawsuits. Maybe it’s just me, but all the lawsuits I can think of that people mention as examples of frivilous lawsuits involve women or children. It’s almost as if the gender and age of the plaintiffs are brought up as proof that such lawsuits must be frivilous because “real adults” (men) would never do anything so stupid.

I just don’t get people’s reactions to this.

I often want to lash out at some of the annoying people that come into my store and I must admit that I will sometimes let my displeasure show. Thi is partly because I’m human and partly because if they are being that annoying I don’t really want them in my store – what little money they bring in isn’t worth it.

However, I would never dream of actually hurting anyone or even damaging their property or publicly ridiculing them. And I have enough of a temper that – on particularly stressful days – I’ve been known to slam books around in the receiving area.