Do you want to get your girlfriend or wife into technology, but you’re afraid she’s too feeble minded to be able to appreciate your magnanimous gift? Have you run out of gift guides to scour, but still need a gift for the girl “geek” in your life? Well, fear not, friend! You’ve come to the right place. This list will give you the skills that you need to decide what pieces of technology are and are not appropriate for the little women in your life!

1. Easy is Key!

Although they may appear to be adult-sized, a real man knows that women have the mental capacity of a child. With that in mind, you don’t want to get them confusing technologies where they have to use more than one or two buttons.

There are some exceptions to this rule. For instance, console controllers come these days with many buttons, which can be intimidating to your delicate flower. Most consoles have “female friendly” games that utilize a minority of the buttons. Those are best, especially when coupled with simplistic “point and click” style gameplay that doesn’t require thought.

2. It’s a Cutsey-wootsy Widdle Toy

It’s a well-known fact that all women have the “cute” gene. They melt like butter whenever a picture of a puppy is shown to them, and plaster their rooms with posters of baby animals. This is because they have the sole responsibility of raising the children for their men. Use their biology to your advantage! If you see a game that features animals, or an MP3 player that is described as “cute”, then it may just be the gift you’re looking for.

3. Oooh, Pretty Colours!

When in doubt, look for something colourful. Preferably in pastels, but for a younger woman neon colours are all the rage. Bright colours soothe the feminine mind and can go a long way to making technology less scary. Pink, especially, is a colour to look for because it is instrinsically feminine and will trigger comforting thoughts about being back in the cradle with their mother cooing happily at them.

4. Encourage her Chatter

Women love to talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. So bring out her inner socialite and get her a gift that allows her to indulge in her chit-chat (preferably when you’re not around)! Cell phones are increasingly gal-friendly, or you can get her hooked on online games (all women love puzzle games; it has something to do with snakes and evolution).

5. Stop Being a Fatty, Fat, Fat, Fatty!

Tired of your cupcake being the size of one? Fear not, technology has made it so that your tech-savvy woman can be as slim as a super model! Pick from one of the many weight loss appliances, or go the video game route and buy her DDR plus a game pad. You can be the first man on the block to prove your virility by showing off the newer, better, more svelte version of your wife/girlfriend.

6. Accessorize to Feminize

If there’s one thing women love, it’s shopping for purses and other accessories! So, when in doubt, go for an item to spruce up her boring old toys. Does she have one of those dull black laptops? Buy her a pretty little case for it. A case for her iPod, or a new skin for it is a great idea, too. For even more brownie points, make sure the case models are named after women. If you bought a console for her (you brave, brave man!), you can even buy skins for those! And you can even buy games like Final Fantasy X-2 that involve collecting new outfits. She might not be able to play them herself, but watching you unlock new outfits will give her hours of fun.

If you follow these simple rules, you’re guaranteed to pick a gift this year for your sweetie that she wouldn’t dare dislike.

Last Updated: January 02, 2006.