But I can’t get that number out of my head. 160. At 5′7″, that’s a fat person’s weight, at least on a woman. I should weigh 130. I can’t shake that I think I’m 30 pounds over weight, but I don’t see where I have to lose it.

I am almost convinced that the recommendations for women’s “ideal” weight is skewed in a very sexist manner. Lemme ’splain:

I was, when I graduated high school, 5′ 8.5″ and 127 lbs. And, did I mention, too skinny. Model skinny. Collarbones entirely too prominent skinny. I was not particularly fit at the time, but I was skinny.

Now I’m a bit taller (5′9.5″) and howering around 203. In between there and here I’ve weighed 175 twice: once (on the way up) I was a very unfit size 14, and the second time was during an intermediate downtrend, when I was relatively fit (but still not athletic) and I was almost back into a size 10.

I am losing weight now for my health, and my goal weight? 175 and fit. Now, that is still about 25 lbs. higher than the “ideal” weight for someone of my frame (medium), but last time I was 150, I was the same size as I was when I was 175, but fit.

The given healthy weight range for me is 140-160. 160 I could see, but 140 sounds unhealthy for an adult woman of 30 years.

The only way I could get down to 140 lbs again is to lose muscle mass.

That being said:

I think women are expected to be less fit.

Less muscle = less mass = less weight

Less muscle ALSO = less strength= less power = WEAKER

The correlation between societal standards for women’s weight and those for women as the “weaker sex” isn’t hard to see, from that perspective.

(This rant may continue one elsewhere. I’ll post here if I blog on it.)

I should add that guys also can’t eat a lot before bedtime and not notice! It’s a killer…and as a guy conscious of his looks, I can also tell you my self-confidence is also tied into how closely I match the ‘ideal’ body image, but I try to allow for my own instincts about it rather than get obsessive.

It’s not true that men are more than four times as physically strong/fit as women, which is what your closing paragraph adds up to. So if you train twice as hard as your brother, I’m sure you’ll be better than him unless he’s exceptionally genetically gifted. Men do have a natural strength advantage, but they also have the lifelong advantage (or “advantage” for some guys) of being pushed harder in sports, of being encouraged to perform physical activity that actually builds muscle and endurance, of not being told things like “if you MUST lift weights, you should do 5 sets of 20 with the pink 3-pounder in the corner there so that you just get toned and don’t get bulging muscles, okay hun?” You’re just starting to get into biking and he’s semi-pro - give yourself time!

I wasn’t trying to do any math, but part of what had me frustrated was a conversation I had with my brother about his abilities compared to those of women. His abilities are not much behind those of the fastest mountain biking woman in the world (and he’s only been doing it a few years). So that really illustrated, for me, the impossibilities of catching up to him.

Perhapse one advantage that men have is in clothing - men tend not to wear fitted or clingy clothing that many women do, so adding a few pounds is not as noticeable on a man. Just my $0.02. Great blog you have here!

Which I hope doesn’t come across as discounting your actual point about body image, and second point about the frustration inherrent in dealing with genetic differences, especially in the case of skill based competition that one is very passionate about. In a world where every fat man on television seems to have a runway model for a wife, and Danica Patrick finishing 4th in her first Indy 500 ever is considered proof that women can’t compete in the sport, I have no actual argument against you. I’d rather approach this discussion from a gender neutral perspective. Especially given that the distribution of preternaturally over-active metabolisms seems to be fairly evenly split between males and females, fully aware that the societal pressures towards thinness are more extreme for you than they are for me, I still find the comparison to and idealization of male metabolisms troublesome.

I would also like to second a’s comment, all of it

I’m in a similar situation and I’m a similar size. I’ve been trying to lose weight for almost a year now, and following a very strict calorie-counting plan for the last few months, and based on all the information I can find on losing/maintaining weight in a realistic way (blah blah BLAH eat this many fresh veggies blah blah blah drink water cut out empty calories blah blah blah six meals a day no fewer than 1200 calories burn 500 more calories than you eat each day blah blah) I should be *skinny.*

I’m not. I’m 5′6″ and 155, and though some of it’s muscle, the rest is just… frustration. I’m jealous of guys in general because their RDA lets them eat more calories, but specifically, I’m more jealous of my skinny, skinny female friends who never exercise and carelessly slurp down non-diet sodas and eat cheeseburgers and fries. I watch my friends complain about their weight even as they eat over half of my daily allowed calories in one sitting. Why do they get to be skinny when I’m doing everything right and they’re doing everything wrong? How does that even work?

And it’s funny you have Starbuck as the example up there. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing comments elsewhere about how she’s not skinny and how it’s good to have a solid-looking heroine for once. I don’t get it. Sure, she has a slight amount of muscle when she flexes, and she’s slightly toned, and her ribs don’t show through her back like 6’s ribs do, but she’s still *tiny* - am I looking at the same woman that these people are? What the HELL.

Rant off.

Also, good post, but I have a quibble:

It’s not true that men are more than four times as physically strong/fit as women, which is what your closing paragraph adds up to. So if you train twice as hard as your brother, I’m sure you’ll be better than him unless he’s exceptionally genetically gifted. Men do have a natural strength advantage, but they also have the lifelong advantage (or “advantage” for some guys) of being pushed harder in sports, of being encouraged to perform physical activity that actually builds muscle and endurance, of not being told things like “if you MUST lift weights, you should do 5 sets of 20 with the pink 3-pounder in the corner there so that you just get toned and don’t get bulging muscles, okay hun?” You’re just starting to get into biking and he’s semi-pro - give yourself time!

If that’s not what you meant, ignore all that.

We can do that?! SWEET!

While I empathize with body self-image issues, you may be idealizing what men’s bodies are capable of doing just a tad. We’ve all got different builds and different metabolisms, and some are considered a lot more ideal than others.

OTOH, I am glad we don’t have to deal with the same societal pressures you ladies do - those just seem to suck all around. :-T

I grew up with fewer body image issues because I was isolated from and wasn’t interested in a lot of the media (magazines, TV, the works) girls are traditionally exposed to, but hell if I don’t have a few now. I try not to think about the calories, eat a high proportion of real/nutritious food as opposed to junk, and get out and moving a little each day. I’ve gained a bit of stress-related weight and I’m certainly out of shape, but I feel mentally & physically healthier than if I were also obsessing about every ounce.

When in doubt, eat a cookie. And enjoy it. (Or drink a beer if that’s your thing - I know it’s mine!)