‘You’re scared of our connection, right? I know you can feel it. I felt it the minute I laid eyes on you.’

This is what Gavin de Becker calls “Forced teaming”, creating a link between the aggressor and the victim where none exists. It’s not that the guy misinterprets any signals in silence, it’s that he’s using a manipulative tactic he’s learned from past experience will yield him results. It’s not really on topic with the rest of the article, I just see The Gift of Fear everywhere now.

In a relationship where the woman is financially dependant on the man, speaking up for her own desires and wishes can be extremely scary. There’s always this thought running in the back of her mind “What if he gets fed up with me and turns me out? I don’t have any money, where will I go?” Our economic disadvantages as women play right into the hands of abusive, lazy, controlling, or manipulative partners who can hold our futures for randsom any time they please, or just use our fears of poverty to keep us in line.

One of the biggest fears I have in my current relationship is that he’ll leave me if I speak up too often, too brashly, etc.

I used to think it was just my personal insecurity that made me feel this way, but I keep hearing stories that tell me otherwise. (Of course, my insecurity feeds into it.) I’m glad you’re able to develop trust with your partner, damn what gender socialization tries to tell you.