Katie: It looks like your comment posted anyway? I like the tip you give. You’re right, and some of your specific circumstances affect how useful it is for you; but this battle is won piece by piece, rather than with a single perfect strategy.

I lost my huge, long comment with a kickass tip for women.

I’m too tired to write it again.

Ever since I read that (yeah, it does help that I have have adrenaline-state training (IMPACT) under my belt…), I’ve been able to tap into how I feel when I’ve dressed up intending for swing dancers to size up how I look, for a date with a loved one where I fully permit him to size up how I look, for a date with a liked one where I fully permit him to size up how I look, etc.

I’ve been able to tap into that sense when I hear or see someone for whom I did not choose my clothes or walk and feel a peaceful sense of…irrelevance.

Yeah, irrelevance. I get this feeling when I catch them that feels like when someone comes up shouting, “Aliiiiicccccce!” and I have to explain, “I’m sorry…I’m not Alice.”

I’ve been able to, thanks to reading feminist descriptions of the problem with random male judgment-and-speaking-it, find a way to not feel “policed” by it.

Of course, as I said, this probably has 1) a lot to do with having had a hell of a lot of practice at doing so in a class where we were trained to handle and simulated such harassment (I even have the video for reminders of my classmates and me in similar situations!) 2) a lot to do with never having been physically assaulted on account of being perceived as a member of a “weaker” social group.

Nevertheless, hopefully people who aren’t in my lucky situation can still start with my tactic and develop one that works for them.

I don’t think there’s much difference between daytime and nighttime harassment. I’ve been harassed during the day in various states of disarray and dishevelment, and many women I know say the same. I think all street harassment is at root about claiming public space as male space, and training women to feel that if they dare to present themselves in public, they should be prepared to be punished for it by becoming an object for male consumption.