Category Archives: Abuse, rape, and domestic violence

IMPACT Defense Against Multiple Assailants class

Good afternoon, Shrub.com! My name is Katie, and I’m a white cisgendered female heterosexual able-bodied blogger. Andrea gave me a Shrub login a few weeks ago so I could post ideas that I thought fit the thoughtful “breaking out of … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Eradicating Divisive Discourse, Feminism, Gender essentialism, Gender issues, Masculinities | 6 Comments

Silent Hill Movie

You would think that a movie that has women as the main protagonists would be a progressive step forward in terms of the portrayal of women in film. With Silent Hill, you would be wrong. I went into the movie … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Film and televison, Gender issues, Privilege, The Evil -ism's, Video Games | 23 Comments

Baby, it's Cold Outside

[Crossposted to My Vox blog.]

Via Majikthise, Brad Hicks has a good analysis of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

There’s not much more I can say about the analysis, but the responses in comments are quite interesting, particularly in how the song is defended. It’s illustrative of the ways in which the status quo with respect to rape and consent gets defended. Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Popular Culture, Sex, sexuality, and sexual politics | 12 Comments

Great Moments in Jurisprudence

[Crossposted to my Vox blog.]

Plenty of people have commented on the Missouri rape case where a judge decided that once penetration had been consented to, there really wasn’t any crime.

And as plenty of people have pointed out, this is a monumentally stupid ruling.

(Trigger warning.) Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence | 3 Comments

Drinking and Choice

Doing my dishes, I remembered a conversation I had at a local bar and it gave me a “WTF??” moment in terms of how I thought of the idea that people who get so drunk they can’t remember are always … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Personal | 7 Comments

Catholic League Plays the Victim Blaming Card

The Catholic League in response to former congressman Mark Foley remarking that he was abused by a clergyman: “As for the alleged abuse, it’s time to ask some tough questions. First, there is a huge difference between being groped and … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Masculinities, Politics, Religion | 2 Comments

Stalker King

You think Burger King thought of this possibility when they commissioned their game Sneak King? This is where the King gets slapped with a restraining order. All I gotta say is that BK is batting 0 for 2 in my … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Companies Behaving Badly, Video Games | 1 Comment

Ellison digs himself deeper into the hole

Aaaaaaand there’s more! Via , we have another response by Ellison regarding his groping of Connie Willis. And no, this isn’t him dropping all sarcasm and misguided attempts at humor in order to make a straightforward, sincere apology. (We can only dream.)

Since jfpbookworm did such a great job deconstructing the first “apology”, I think it’s only fitting that we subject Ellison’s newest offering to analysis as well. One, because he’s so spectacularly idiotic – but more importantly, because of the unexamined privilege that drips from his words alongside the expected arrogance. He may be a talented writer, but that skill does nothing to save him from his underlying sexist assumptions. Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Popular Culture, Privilege | 9 Comments

The Harlan Ellison Incident

A few days ago at the Hugo Awards ceremony at Worldcon, Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis on stage. The primary source of the news is Patrick Nielsen Hayden’s report, though Ellison himself confirmed it in the (ostensible) apology on his message board. (Text provided here by Elizabeth Bear. Also see her post on the original incident.)

He wrote the “apology” yesterday, even though the event occurred a couple of days ago, because he had no idea that there was a problem until he saw the reaction online. In other words, he didn’t know it was wrong until someone else told him. This is the kind of behavior that you would expect out of children developing their sense of politeness and ethics, not a grown man (especially one with as inflated a sense of self as Ellison apparently has).

Connie Willis is one of the most respected science fiction authors writing today – certainly one of the most well-known women in the field. She did not invite the groping, nor did she give him permission. Ellison calls it “intendedly-childlike,” and supposedly it came as part of a comedic schtick. However, Willis was not previously informed about his intention, and since she immediately removed his hand and continued on without comment, it’s obvious that she didn’t feel inclined to join in on the “comedy.”

His behavior – the fact that he even thought that this was an acceptable action (or at least funny, maybe “cheeky little bastard,” but not reprehensibly sexist), and furthermore, had to be told that it wasn’t – speaks to a deep disrespect for women. A disrespect that, really, isn’t all that uncommon. Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Gender Caste, Popular Culture, Privilege | 26 Comments

Reframing the Poly Debate

Four Legs Good, Six Legs BadPolygamy, polygyny, polyandry, polyamory, polyfidelity… By whatever label, using whatever configuration, the concept of poly is to involve more than two people in intimate relationships. In the Western world, this practice is mostly seen as immoral. The legal marriage of multiple partners is largely illegal, and the unquestionable “rightness” of this idea is used and abused by both sides when the concept of same-sex marriage comes up.

But I think that it’s time that we, as feminists, reframe this debate. We need to reach inside ourselves and ask why the idea of poly relationships feels wrong. What is it that makes the stereotype of polygamy objectionable? Is it the idea that monogamy isn’t the only healthy relationship style, or that the only example of poly relationships have been ones that traffic in women? Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, rape, and domestic violence, Politics, Sex, sexuality, and sexual politics | 9 Comments